a confessional and lists of comfort: books, films, tv shows, youtube channels, scents, activities and more
Hello.
I’m newly unemployed and I feel absolutely gutted and ashamed and embarrassed by this. I’ve always been a high achieving girl. I had big dreams when I was younger and took a step back to tend to other (more important things) in my life. So, I pivoted and sold my soul to corporate and it bit me. I hesitated writing this to you, but I know for a fact I’m not the only one in this position and I’m hoping in doing this, you feel less alone. Truthfully, I’ve been in this situation for some time now and I’ve fought like hell to try and find myself, but I’m lost. And as someone who knew exactly what she wanted growing up, this feeling is unbearable. I’m searching for my identity which feels infantilizing if you’re also in your late twenties/ early thirties, you’ll understand how devastating this feels.
I’ll get off my soap box now. If you’ve felt any distance from me recently, this is why. I want to write to you more, and lately it’s felt impossible to get out of bed in the morning, let alone create content. But if you’re still here reading my letters, know that I love you and I’m here for you.
All this to say, I’ve been craving comfort and I want to give you some comforting content to consume when life feels heavy.
Despite Spring being a season of hope, sometimes our anxiety has other plans. And before we continue, I want to ask you…
Have you eaten today? When was the last time you drank water? How has your sleep been lately? How have you been taking care of yourself? Sometimes when things are real bad, these questions cease to exist and all I have the energy to do is stare at the wall and wallow. Boy, do I love to wallow when shit hits the fan.
When you’re ready, ask yourself those questions. Often times, we don’t need overhyped self care interventions. All we need is a good nights rest or a mid-day nap or a bowl of hot oatmeal with brown sugar and soy milk like your mom used to make.
Books:
-Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto: An exploration of grief, love, and resilience, with a touch of magical realism, inviting readers into a world where the mundane and the extraordinary intersect seamlessly.
-Beatrix Potter’s Gardening Life: The Plants and Places That Inspired The Classic Children’s Tale by Marta McDowell: A comforting book that highlights a authors garden with a season-by-season overview of what brings her garden to life. She also writes about the origins of Beatrix Potter and how her passion for nature came to be reflected in her stories.
-Sweet Bean Paste by Durian Sukegawa: A heartwarming tale of unlikely friendships, the healing power of food, and the beauty found in life's simple pleasures, reminding us of the importance of connection and compassion.
-A Room with a View by E.M. Forster: A captivating story of love, self-discovery, and societal conventions, set against the backdrop of Italy and England, where characters navigate the complexities of passion and propriety with wit and charm.
-Letters to Vera by Vladimir Nabokov: A tender and intimate collection of letters showcasing the deep affection and intellectual connection between Nabokov and his wife Vera, offering insights into the life and mind of one of the greatest writers of the 20th century.
-Breasts and Eggs by Mieko Kawakami: An exploration of womanhood, family, and societal expectations, delving into the complexities of identity and the pursuit of autonomy with raw honesty and emotional depth.
-Middlemarch by George Eliot: A sprawling yet intricately woven tapestry of life in a provincial English town, filled with richly drawn characters and insightful observations on human nature, love, and ambition, making it a timeless classic that continues to resonate with readers today.
-Bonjour Tristesse by Françoise Sagan: A story of youthful passion, jealousy, and moral ambiguity, set against the backdrop of the French Riviera, where the consequences of impulsive actions reverberate with tragic inevitability.
-Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner: A memoir of grief, identity, and the bond between mother and daughter, exploring the complexities of cultural heritage and personal loss with candidness and grace, while celebrating the healing power of food and music.
Activities:
-Plant a garden (indoor or outdoor): Even in you live in a small space, you can still find ways to green thumb your way into fresh herbs and small fruit and veggie plants. There’s something calming about watching your little baby seeds grow and flourish into something you can consume.
-Picnic: Whether you’re craving solo time or friend time or time with your lover, a picnic is the perfect vessel to engage in an activity to get out outdoors and out of your head. Pack picnic snacks like mini sandwiches and fresh fruit and baby carrots. Pack a sweet treat like rice crispy treats or shortbread cookies. Bring wine or rose or tea. Be sure to bring your journal and a book. Bring a mini speaker to play the perfect picnic playlist. Listen to the birds and pick flowers and admire how the trees are filled with leaves and life and a renewed energy now that winter is behind us.
-Bake Something: A spring treat. I love lemon flavored desserts. Maybe try your hand at a lemon tart or lemon meringue pie? Perhaps you’re also a fan of carrot cake? Taking on a baking project is my favorite form of therapy. Put on a podcast or jazzy playlist and get lost in baking something sweet just for you to enjoy when you’re done.
-Make Tea: Set 30 minutes aside for you to make some tea do an off-screen activities like reading, knitting, journaling, etc.
-Make Handmade Bookmarks: Keep them for yourself or gift them to friends and family.
-Digital Decluttering: Unsubscribe from unwanted emails and subscriptions, delete old notes and messages you dont need, delete tabs you’ve had open for weeks, unfollow people on social media, organize your music playlists, etc.
-Eat Comforting Foods: (not just ‘comfort food’), but rather, foods that make you feel nourished and comforted- foods that make you feel good after eating them. A pasta dish your mom used to make, a family recipe, something with season vegetables and protein and carbs. Good bread and butter. Wine. A big salad that you eat out of a huge bowl filled with seeds and nuts and fruit and avocado and a homemade dressing. And don’t skip dessert. Pair this with your favorite comfort show (or film).
-Go To The Museum: If you’re not near a museum, what about the zoo?
-Coloring: Heal your inner child.
-Get Back To Basics: As I alluded to earlier- take a nap, drink water, take an everything shower, eat something, call your mom, watch a show that will make you laugh (or cry).
TV Shows:
-Barefoot Contessa Ina Garten: Ina can do no wrong in my eyes and she always makes me feel better. It reminds me of my mom when we would cook together and watch Ina in the background for comfort.
-Normal People: A poignant and intimate portrayal of young love, navigating the complexities of relationships and identity. This show is gutting and if you’re like me and love to consume sad, emotional media when you’re sad, this one is for you.
-True Beauty (K Drama): A captivating Korean drama exploring the pressures of beauty standards and the journey towards self-acceptance. This is a total fell-good series if you need something to make you feel vetter.
-New Girl: A quirky and heartwarming sitcom following the misadventures of a group of friends navigating life, love, and adulting.
-Friends: An iconic sitcom capturing the enduring bonds of friendship amidst the humor and trials of everyday life. We’ve all seen this show. It’s perfect background noise while doing another activity when you want to feel less alone.
-Fleabag: A darkly comedic and emotionally raw exploration of a complex woman's life, relationships, and inner struggles.
-Angelina Ballerina: A charming animated series following the adventures of a young mouse pursuing her dreams of becoming a ballerina. I love cartoons that heal my inner child.
-Little Bear: A gentle and enchanting animated show filled with with warmth and imagination, perfect for young viewers and nostalgic adults alike. This was my favorite show and book when I was a little girl. I still watch this anytime I’m feeling really anxious. I promise you this show will make you feel better.
Films:
-Juno: A coming-of-age tale exploring teenage pregnancy with wit and charm.
-Coraline: Yes, this is a boarder line horror movie. But I find it comforting. Coraline is an animated adventure delving into the eerie wonders of a parallel world.
-Charlie Brown: All Peanuts films and specials. The new series on AppleTV is comforting, too.
-Sixteen Candles: A classic '80s teen comedy navigating the awkwardness of adolescence and the quest for love.
-The Devil Wears Prada: A classic! The film gives a glimpse into the cutthroat world of fashion, where ambition clashes with integrity.
-My Neighbor Totoro: A heartwarming animated masterpiece celebrating the magic of childhood and the wonders of nature.
-Kiki’s Delivery Service: A journey following a young witch finding her place in the world through courage and kindness.
-Winnie The Pooh: Endearing tales of friendship and whimsy that captivate both children and adults alike.
-Breakfast At Tiffany’s: A glamorous and iconic portrayal of New York City's social scene, exploring themes of love, identity, and belonging.
-It’s Complicated: Queen Meryl! A charming and relatable romantic comedy navigating the complexities of love, marriage, and second chances.
Youtube Channels:
-Alison Roman Home Movies: Food will always be my comfort media of choice to consume. Alison’s videos have gotten me through some of the hardest moments.
-Lauren Louise: aka bigbooklady is another comforting channel I love to watch. Lots of day in the life, books, and little appearances from her cat, Joan.
-Dakota Warren: Lady Dakota, where do I begin? Queen of booktok, author, goddess, etc. If you love books and poetry and love and art, this is for you.
-Eunjung: Another comforting lifestyle channel I enjoy watching. Lots of day in the life from Korea and living alone videos <3
Fragrances and Scents For Comfort and Sleep:
-Jo Malone Wood Sage and Sea Salt: The fresh, earthy notes of sage and sea salt evoke a tranquil seaside stroll, offering a comforting escape from the everyday bustle. Jo Malone gets a lot of negative heat on social media, but I love them. The lasting power is not super long and a lot of their fragrances don’t project. It’s intimate and comforting, like most second skin perfumes.
-Molecule 01 by Escentric Molecules: Its minimalist composition of Iso E Super creates an intimate, skin-like scent that feels like a warm embrace, effortlessly soothing the senses. If I don’t know what perfume to wear, this is what I’m grabbing. This is one of my favorite fragrances of all time.
-Molecule + Iris by Escentric Molecules: Pairing the enigmatic Molecule 01 with the delicate elegance of iris, this fragrance delivers a comforting aura of familiarity with a subtle, yet distinctive twist.
-White Rice by D’Annam: With its subtle, comforting aroma reminiscent of a warm bowl of rice, this fragrance cocoons you in a sense of home and serenity, embracing simplicity and tranquility.
-Escapade Gourmande by Maison Mataha: Indulging the senses with its sweet, decadent notes of caramel and vanilla, this fragrance evokes memories of cozy evenings by the fireplace, offering a deliciously comforting escape from reality. This is another hyped fragrance on perfumetok and I didn’t want to love this but I do. Gourmands bring comfort. This reminds me of Pink Sugar (that perfume we all wore in the early 2000s).
-Valaya by Parfums De Marly: I didn’t want to like this one because she’s pricey, but my goodness it’s special. This one lasts a very long time and developed so beautifully on my skin. There’s something about it that makes me feel so comforted and happy. Bergamot, mandarin, white peach, orange blossom, musk, vanilla, amber. This one is incredible.
(Fragrances are expensive and each bottle is an investment. Don’t blind buy! Get samples and go into the stores to try them on your skin before pulling the trigger on a full size bottle)
Okay, that’s all for now. Thank you for being here.
We’ll talk soon.
Bye <3
The first paragraph is literally me right now as of a few days so I really resonate with this. I love all of these activity recs and will be doing them now that I have a bit of extra time on my hands!
Love this recently I’m watching lovely runner it’s such a cute kdrama since you mentioned true beauty love the post 🤍