hello.
(i have a short and sweet letter for you today. tomorrow morning i’ll be sharing this week’s media consumption and i’ve gathered a lot of great resources to share with you)
sometimes i think my nervous system was built for a different world. a place with fewer interruptions, slower mornings, and more time to think before the next demand arrives.
noise wears me down in ways that feel invisible to everyone else. it isn’t just the traffic or the conversations that bleed into each other or the music leaking from someone’s headphones, it’s the endless current of things to notice and respond to. a hundred tiny interruptions that fray the thread of attention until it’s nothing but static.
sometimes in the afternoon, my overstimulation builds like a tide. tension behind the eyes, heaviness in the chest, a restlessness that’s difficult to pinpoint. i become unfocused, uneasy, suddenly exhausted. my senses feel crowded as if the world has been shouting in a whisper all day. stillness becomes a necessity in order for my body catch up to my mind.
and yet despite all of this, i happen to be an introvert who loves the juxtaposition of living in new york city. everything seems to be consistently moving toward something. it should be overwhelming, and sometimes it is, but when i stop fighting it, i feel at peace. the city pulses like a heartbeat that is steady and alive. and i’ve learned that calm doesn’t always mean silence. sometimes it’s knowing how to listen differently and what makes the biggest difference are the small and deliberate tools that help me stay intact. when i care for my senses, the world softens and the noise becomes a background, not a burden.
learning to live in synchrony with the city has meant paying closer attention to what i need. and though i can’t change how sensitive i am, i can create conditions that help me stay steady.
and if you’re like me: introverted, anxious, and/or easily overstimulated, i want to share things that have helped me move through the world with more ease. they’re small, but together they form a safety net of reminders that it’s possible to stay calm even when everything around you keeps moving.
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truly, your support means the world to me and it’s what gives me the capacity to write to you.
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essentials for introverts
loop earplugs
this is the first thing that changed everything for me. loop earplugs made it possible to exist in overstimulating moments without absorbing every sound. they don’t silence the world, they soften it.
loop engage lowers the volume just enough to make life feel inhabitable again. conversations still come through clear, but the harshness fades. the clatter of carts in grocery stores, the hiss of espresso machines at coffee shops, and the constant murmur that once left my mind buzzing becomes gentler and more breathable.
i wear them everywhere now: on errands, walks, and even during phone calls when my nervous system feels raw. they help create a boundary thin enough to stay present, but strong enough to stay calm.
if you want to try them, i use loop engage and you can get 20% off with my code LOOPX-CAITLYN.
emotional support books
i always carry one in my bag, sometimes three. a book that listens when you need to disappear into another voice. one that steadies your breath, one that reminds you of meaning, and one that lets you hide inside beauty. these are portable companions. sometimes i’ll carry a magazine with me if i have enough space in my bag. print magazine forever, especially when you’re too anxious to commit to a novel.
hatch alarm clock
mornings don’t have to be violent. and before hatch, they were. hatch gives you a sunrise that spills gently across your room, soft light instead of a jarring buzz. you wake slowly and peacefully instead of hysteria. you can pick different noises to wake up to or music. you can also adjust the lighting brightness and color to cater to what you need in the morning. i prefer forest sounds with gentle white light.
calm magnesium
for nights when your mind won’t shut off. magnesium is nervous system care in a cup. and while i don’t view magnesium as a wellness tactic, i do believe in the science of magnesium and the positive physiological benefits it has on the body when your nervous system needs an assistant. it gives you a quieting of the internal static and can help with sleep, overstimulation, and that post socializing crash when you feel hollowed out but restless.
ginger chews, sour candy, dark chocolate
small, sensory lifelines. even when i’m not feeling overstimulated or anxious, i enjoy these little treats, especially during the mid-afternoon drag of the day. when you feel untethered, a strong flavor (especially sour candy) can pull you back into your body. sour candy wakes up your senses; ginger soothes; dark chocolate feels grounding.
fidget tools
for when the energy has nowhere to go. this is a simple, tactile object: some are smooth, some textured, and some clicky. they give your hands something to do when your mind is racing.
journal
the pages of a journal don’t interrupt. they don’t fill silence with advice or try to fix what you’re feeling. it just waits. journaling becomes a place to release everything you’ve carried: noise, conversations, and the small misunderstandings you replay in your mind. it’s where you translate the static into sentences and where vague exhaustion becomes language. sometimes all you write is a list, or a single word, or nothing coherent at all. but the act writing pen to paper is grounding.
noise cancelling headphones
silence is not absence. it’s space. when the world presses in too closely, choosing what you hear can make everything feel calm again. maybe you fill the space with songs that slows your breath, or a voice that steadies you, or maybe you choose nothing at all. headphones become a small boundary between you and the noise.
soft lamp light
light changes everything. overhead bulbs glare like interrogation; they flatten the room, heighten the tension. soft light, though, invites rest. lamps in corners, candles flickering, a warm bulb casting gold over a stack of books. they signal the day’s slowing. light like this tells your body it’s safe to unwind, that evening is not another task but a threshold into calm.
a signature scent
fragrance has a way of stitching time together. a scent you return to daily becomes a quiet ritual, a private anchor. one inhale and you’re back inside yourself, no matter how scattered the day has been. it doesn’t have to be aromatherapy or notes of lavender or bergamot (though those are lovely, too). find a scent that feels like home.
weighted blanket or heavy quilt
pressure calms the body’s alarms and reminds your nervous system that you are held and safe. it slows the racing thoughts, softens the edges of the day. beneath a heavy quilt, your breath deepens without effort. the world fades into quiet and stillness feels possible again.
slow rituals
a cup of tea steeping in silence. reading by lamplight until the words blur into dreams. a walk after rain, when the air smells like clean earth and the streets are almost empty. these are not tasks but invitations because introverts need rhythms more than schedules. small pauses woven through the day that return the mind to its center.
boundaries
the most essential form of care. you’re allowed to leave early or not show up at all, you can decline what depletes you, you can step back without apology. sometimes this is easier said than done. boundaries are how you remain whole in a world that will always ask for more. they are the line between being present and being consumed.
being an introvert is about learning how to stay open without being undone. the goal is figuring out how to live a life that moves at the pace your body can bear. when you begin to care for your senses, the world softens. it becomes less like something you must endure, and more like something you can belong to.
okay, that’s all for today.
i love you.
bye.
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for my cinephiles, you can get 30 days free at mubi.com/milkfed. no strings, just beautifully curated cinema. available in the united states and wherever MUBI streams.
Caitlyn, this very article is a little break from the buzzing of the outside world. Thank you for reminding me that it’s okay to need a little distance and peace sometimes
Caitlyn I absolutely adore you x I have recently subscribed as a paid subscriber. I loved listening to your Substack posts on the way to work in my car as an audio. There’s another narrator that you’re using an English accented woman which is horrendous and very grating on the nerves. I absolutely loved the American accent. One is there anyway I can change the narrator option as I cannot listen to the English voice. It’s awful. x