fragrances for introverts and morning shower thoughts

Hello.

Some morning shower thoughts…

Are we in a loneliness epidemic?

Let me rephrase that…

We’re in a loneliness epidemic. In a world where everyone, including myself, is chronically online- lonely, but never alone, it also feels as though we’re living in a fever dream. When was the last time you put your phone down, took a step back, and observed the cluster fuck that is our real life and digital world?

In January I went to a platonic speed dating event. As an introvert, this was quite literally my worst nightmare, and even though I put myself out there and reluctantly attended, I hated every minute of it. Why aren’t there more meetups and events for introverts? Like an event where there is no strict agenda, but rather, a cozy calm environment with good food, books, jazz music, and a shared empathy amidst the group where we all don’t want to be there, but we’re trying our best. There could be an introverts meet up for people who want to learn how to plant a little garden in their home or something for people who love chess and wine or an event for people who love candles and fragrance and tea. The common misconception about introverts is that people assume we want to be alone all the time. While being alone is preferred, we also enjoy intimate settings with a close friend.

Being alone and loneliness are two completely different feelings.

I’ll speak for myself here- I love being alone, but over the past year, the loneliness I’ve felt is becoming unbearable. I live in New York City where there is always something going on. There are always opportunities to meet new people or attend an event. This is very overwhelming to me, you see. I’ve gone to different meet ups, chess clubs, etc. But none of them sparked joy. (The chess club was pretty fun, but I’m so shy and I felt like it sucked the life out of me trying to be lively and approachable). I’ve always been a Wednesday Addams looking black cat with a permanent RBF that will make any human want to scurry and run far away from me upon first impression. This is one of the reasons I’ve wanted to get a dog. “She can’t bite me if she’s walking a cute dog” or “Wow she looks mean, but look at her dog. I bet she’s not so bad" are the types of narratives I assume people would play in their head if they saw me walking my fur friend.

Now… to tie this back to fragrance- One of the reasons I love perfume so much is that it sparks conversation without trying to seek it out. The girls who come up to me asking what I’m wearing… I love that. Yes, let me tell you what I’m wearing. Let me recommend something to you. You love fragrance, too? I know a spot you’d love. I’m wearing Portrait of a Lady by Frederic Malle, but it will smell different on you, that’s what makes it so special. There’s a darling French woman at the Madison location who can help, let me give you her contact. Or, I’m wearing Monstera by Xinu, it’s one of the most beautiful fragrances I’ve ever smelled. You must try it. Watch how it develops on your skin throughout the day. It’s dreamy and transportive and will take you to warmer, happier, calmer places.

Anyways… alas, here I am confessing my loneliness to you. New York City is unique in that most of us feel unbearably lonely, but we’re never alone in this behemoth sea of people walking amongst us. New Yorkers are a mood, always plugged into a podcast, audiobook, or playlist that provides an escape from something we’re really trying to be connected to at the end of the day- people. We’re all escaping each other, despite how desperate we are for connection. Strange, isn’t it?

Are we ready to move on into other news? I’m going to share a few fragrances that speak to me as an introvert. And even if you’re not an introvert, I think you’ll like them, too. Then, I’ll share some articles that sparked my interest recently.

queen meryl reading

Fragrances for introverts:

-Portrait of a Lady by Frederic Malle: Surprise, surprise. If you’ve ever smelled this fragrance, you would probably assume that an introvert would be the last person to wear it. Ah, but you see, that’s what makes it so special. Fragrance is something that speaks to the people around you without you having to say a word. This perfume is a power house. It’s bold and it radiates confidence. It’s sensual and intimate and it demands your attention. Notes:

-Molecule 01 + Iris by Escentric Molecules: This is the fragrance you where when you want to disappear from being surrounded by large crowds, but you want to give off elegant mesmerizing skin-like warmth to a lover or a close friend. It’s understated from afar, and sometimes that’s what a true introvert needs. Notes: iris, iso E Super, cedarwood

-Unknown Pleasure by Kerosene: This fragrance truly embodies the joy of being cozy at home curled up with a cup hot tea and a book. An introverts dream. There’s a complex blend lemon, earl grey, bergamot and a hint of waffle cone. It’s comforting and intriguing and the base notes of tonka bean, honey, and vanilla offer warmth and comfort when you need to recharge. Notes: Earl Grey tea, sicilian lemon, bergamot, honey, tonka bean, caramel, vanilla, and waffle cone

-Vietnamese Coffee by D’Annam: Reminiscent of going to a coffee shop to study or read on a rainy day, this scent offers an escape to a place of comfort whenever life feels heavy of overwhelming. Robust coffee beans, sweetened condensed milk, spice, and wood are notes well-suited for those who appreciate fragrances that transport you to a cozy place. Notes: Coffee, dark chocolate, lily of the valley, sweetened condensed milk, tonka bean, cedarwood and amber

-The Noir 26 by Le Labo: There’s a depth and complexity to this fragrance similar to the personality of many introverts. There’s warmth and comfort from the tobacco and cedarwood and it gives a sense of mystery. The intricate blend of notes evokes the inner world of an introvert- rich, complex, and full of depth. There’s an addictiveness and meaning behind this fragrance if you take the time to let your skin settle into it. Notes: bergamot, fig, bay leaves, cedarwood, vetiver, musk

-Monstera by Xinu: This one is especially great for warmer weather. It’s green and lush with woody earthy base notes that feel grounding and fresh when the world around you feels heavy. There’s a pineapple sweetness that comes through on the dry down that makes this fragrance refreshing. Notes: damp earth, bitter moss, pineapple fruit, creamy white floral, and honey

vintage perfume ads <3

Read with me:

Niche Perfume Brands Embrace Everyday Storytelling, Fun, New Formats

Emerging niche fragrance brands are revolutionizing the industry with everyday storytelling, unconventional scent notes, and new formats, catering to the evolving tastes of a more knowledgeable and demanding consumer base, including younger generations.

WWD

The Smartphone Kids Are Not Alright 

Jonathan Haidt's research proposes that the rise in mental health issues among adolescents is linked to early smartphone exposure, advocating for delayed introduction and emphasizing the importance of face-to-face social interactions for developing healthier, more resilient youth.

The Atlantic 

For Love Or Honey

Honeyed fragrances, ranging from fruity to resinous, are gaining popularity for their complex and mood-enhancing qualities, with modern perfumers embracing honey’s natural floral richness in unique and luxurious scents that appeal to both traditional and contemporary tastes.

Coveteur

When Did Everyone Get So ‘Dysregulated’?

The concept of "dysregulation," now widely used to describe various emotional and behavioral challenges, suggests a temporary misalignment within ourselves, offering a seemingly solvable approach to managing mental health by monitoring our nervous systems.

New York Magazine

Love you all.

See you soon.

Bye <3

look, it’s me