media consumption: articles, video essays, podcasts to make you smarter (vol. 18)

hello.

i’ve been thinking about how easy it is to disappear inside your own world and get so caught up in the rhythm of doing and surviving that you forget to actually feel. sometimes i find myself going whole days without noticing the light in the room, or the way my coffee tastes, or the fact that my body is tired and asking for softness. it’s strange, how care can become invisible and how easy it is to stop offering it to ourselves.

so this letter is just a little reminder to pay attention. not in a hustle-hyperproductive way, but in the quiet way that feels like learning how to parent yourself again. take a bath, re-read a sentence that made you feel something, go outside even if just to breathe or lighting a candle in the middle of the day just because it smells safe and comforting. not everything has to be earned. some things can just be allowed.

weekly report

reading

interior castle by saint teresa of avila – a mystic guide to the soul’s journey inward, written by a 16th-century nun who literally had visions. each “room” of the castle brings you closer to god, but not without struggle, self-denial, and some truly intense spiritual yearning.

bonjour tristesse & a certain smile by françoise sagan – two short, devastating novels about bored, intelligent girls drifting through summer affairs and emotional wreckage. they’re about beauty, detachment, and the quiet violence of youth when it has too much freedom.

ficciones by jorge luis borges – brilliant, mind-bending short stories that play with time, infinity, language, and identity. it’s like falling into a maze and realizing the maze is thinking about you, too.

brideshead revisited by evelyn waugh – catholic guilt, doomed love, and the golden shimmer of aristocratic decay. it’s about memory, friendship, and how certain places and people can haunt you forever.

a room with a view by e.m. forster – a young woman in edwardian england realizes she wants more than what’s expected of her. love, freedom, and italy collide in one of the most quietly radical books about breaking out of your own constraints.

eating

honey biscuits with salted butter and jams

the other day i made a homemade pizza… highly recommend.

afternoon snack plates filled to the brim with fresh spring veggies (carrots, radishes, endive, etc) brie cheese, blueberries, figs, apples, olives, cornichons, rosemary almonds, rye crackers

haagen daas strawberry ice cream for a midnight snack

cereal!

frozen uncrustables (they must be frozen)

playing

bonjour tristesse (2024)!!

so much jazz. let me share some playlists i made for every mood: tender jazz, bossa nova, vintage comforting nostalgic jazz, poetic jazz for yearning

audiobooks: currently listening to…

the right to sex by amia srinivasan - a thoughtful collection of essays that untangles sex from entitlement, power, and politics. would probably be a great listen if you want to feel like you’re in an elite seminar but also a little emotionally wrecked.

doppelganger by naomi klein – part memoir, part political analysis, part existential identity crisis. klein starts by talking about being confused with naomi wolf and ends up writing one of the most interesting books about misinformation, paranoia, and what it means to live in a fractured, post-truth world.

girl on girl by sophie gilbert – a personal cultural critique about how pop culture and media frames and warps the way women see each other.

animal crossings to decompress

recommending

making lists: i do this every day, but especially on days when i feel anxious. it untangles my brain in weird wonderful ways. make grocery lists, things you love, things you hate, to do lists, wishlists, books you want to read, crush lists, etc

making your mom a homemade mother’s day gift: i made a mother’s day gift guide yesterday for your reference <3

treating

it’s almost mother’s day so i might treat myself to something on my wishlist. perhaps eau rose edp or eau duelle edp by diptyque. maybe farm fresh peaches and apricots from frog hollow farm. maybe a black cat…

as many of you know, i recently started a youtube channel. come subscribe and stay awhile ~ i covered my favorite gothic literature books and my favorite beginner philosophy books in my latest videos. <3

this next section is for paid subscribers where i share a sizable list of interesting articles, video essays, and podcast recommendations that i’ve curated throughout the week(s). today’s media consumption roundup includes how to be a loser, the horrors of aging, strega nona’s timeless charm, praising toxic female friendships, why young people love old things, reading philosophy, an interview with ocean vuong, networking as an introvert, and so much more…

i remove the paywalls on the majority of my posts, so your support for this newsletter means the world to me.