media consumption: articles, video essays, podcasts to make you smarter (vol. 14)

hello.

i’ve been on a deeply personal journey in an attempt to excavate the layers of religious traumas that have shaped me into the person i am today. i’ve been interrogating inherited beliefs, and conducting my own research to understand the nature of faith, spirituality, and the structures that give them power, which in turn, has led to quite the existential all-consuming spiral and obsession…

keeping in theme with today’s letter, I’ve thought about the ways in which religion, at its core, is an exercise in media consumption. it is a system of texts, symbols, rituals, and narratives designed to shape perception, to order existence into something structured, meaningful, and absolute. in this way, belief is less about what is true and more about what is sustained—by repetition, by tradition, by the sheer force of cultural inertia. the scriptures are read. the stories are told. the rituals are performed. the cycle continues.

but even outside of religious structures, we seek the same thing. we return to certain books, certain films, certain images—not just for entertainment, but for meaning. we absorb them, contemplate them, let them define and redefine us. devotion, after all, is not exclusive to the divine. it is just as present in the way we allow certain ideas to take hold of us, in the way we build our own personal canons.

consider the way we ritualize our consumption. the annual reread of a favorite novel, the rewatching of a film so familiar it plays in the mind like scripture. the reverence with which we discuss certain works, their status elevated beyond mere fiction into something doctrinal. literary canonization is, in many ways, theological in structure—some texts are sacred, others are apocryphal, and the rest are subject to an ongoing exegesis in the form of critique, interpretation, and reclamation.

even the concept of obsession—the way certain works haunt us, demand our attention, refuse to let go—mirrors the ecstatic states of mysticism. the medieval saints wrote of visions that consumed them, of revelations so profound they altered the course of their lives. in a secular age, perhaps the closest we come to that level of intellectual possession is through art. through the book that rewires something in us. the film that lingers. the ideas that reshape our thinking so completely that we can no longer return to who we were before encountering them.

and so, in the spirit of this ongoing ritual, here is what has been consuming me lately…

weekly report

reading

decreation by anne carson - a work that defies categorization, blending poetry, essay, opera, and philosophy into a meditation on ego, absence, and transcendence. drawing from figures like sappho, simone weil, and marguerite porete, carson examines the concept of decreation—the act of undoing the self to move closer to the divine, to art, to meaning. her language is sharp yet elusive, weaving together fragments of history, mythology, and personal reflection in a way that feels both intimate and impossibly vast. it’s a text that resists easy interpretation, demanding to be read slowly, returned to, unraveled. in decreation, carson does what only she can—she dissolves boundaries, unmaking the self to illuminate something deeper, something just beyond reach.

james baldwin: collected essays - a collection of essays ranging from notes of a native son to the fire next time—are at once deeply personal and blisteringly political, dissecting race, identity, power, and the moral crisis of america with unmatched precision and grace. baldwin’s prose is both urgent and poetic, his insights searing yet deeply humane. he does not offer easy answers, but instead forces his readers to confront uncomfortable truths—about history, about justice, about the nature of love and rage.

the nun by denis diderot – (i just finished this and loved it) a deeply unsettling story about oppression, faith, and female autonomy. framed as a series of letters from suzanne simonon, a young woman forced into a convent against her will, the novel exposes the cruelty and psychological torment she endures at the hands of both religious doctrine and human nature. diderot, an enlightenment thinker and vocal critic of institutionalized religion, crafts a story that is as much a gothic nightmare as it is a philosophical critique, questioning the fine line between devotion and madness. suzanne’s plight is claustrophobic and relentless, making the novel both compelling and difficult to read. beneath its tragic surface, this story is a blistering indictment of power, control, and the ways in which institutions manipulate belief to justify suffering.

madonna in a fur coat by sabahattin ali – (almost finished with this one) a quiet, devastating novel about love, longing, and the inevitable distance between two souls. set between turkey and 1920s berlin, it follows raif, a reserved and introspective man, whose brief but intense relationship with the enigmatic maria pivar unfolds like a dream already slipping away. ali’s prose is delicate yet deeply affecting, capturing the ache of unspoken emotions and the way love can transform a person even in its absence. it’s a novel that lingers, steeped in melancholy, offering a tender meditation on the weight of memory and the quiet tragedy of missed connections.

eating

-cinnamon raisin bread and black coffee in the morning

-left over dark chocolates from valentine’s day

-cheese plates with olives, dried figs and persimmons, and rosemary crackers (i’m obsessed and have the biggest crush on food relics and i believe she is inspiring every hot girl to go gourmet cheese shopping)

Morgana

-pastina on cold rainy days

playing

-conclave (2024) fantastic 10/10 highly recommend!

-possession (1981) my beloved

-belle de jour (1967) my other beloved

-the norman luboff choir songs from this playlist

-more gregorian chants to feel something

obsessing

-molecule + iris for sleep (the most comforting woody iris scent for serene slumber)

-another 13 le labo (see my love letter here)

-trinkets, vintage cards and newspaper clippings, antique pendants and other baubles to add to my altar bookshelf

-creating pinterest boards with religous imagery

recommending

-i burned through my entire altar candle

-taking time in the evening to journal for your eyes only (not performative journaling)

-eating fresh fruits

treating

-i want to learn how to cross stitch thanks to the lovely geneva. i fear i’m in my victorian ghosty granny era where i need some indoor activities to do with my hands whilst watching my favorite films.

-more nightgowns from salter house for spring… the sophia and the lamb have my heart.

-i want a cat so badly. i want a black cat and i would like to name her clarice.

as many of you know, i recently started a youtube channel. come subscribe and stay awhile ~ i cover my favorite philosophy books in my latest video. <3

this next section is for paid subscribers where i share a sizable list of interesting articles, video essays, and podcast recommendations that i’ve curated throughout the week. in today’s media consumption roundup, we’re covering mary shelley’s obsession with the cemetery, the hidden history of black catholic nuns, simone de beauvoir on the art of growing older, the erotics of rereading, medieval love scandals, sex at the supermarket, and so much more…

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