monthly favorites

hello.

i haven’t done a monthly favorites round up in a while and maybe that’s because this month has felt like walking through a storm with no umbrella, just a tote bag full of obligations and a jaw that won’t unclench. april was overwhelming. my eyes have been burning from staring at too many screens, my mind pinging from task to task like it’s forgotten how to rest. it’s been one of those months where you count the days by how many emails you still haven’t responded to, how many nights you fell asleep fully clothed.

somewhere in all that chaos, i found myself reaching for the things that made me feel a little more like myself… fragrances that are warmer and a little sweeter, rituals that made the days feel less slippery. nostalgia has been a soft place to land lately. (my literature and cinema choices, however, probably exacerbated my anxiety) apart from that, i’ve been clinging to old comforts, old memories, old scents and songs and stories, anything that reminds me that the present moment isn’t the only one that matters.

if you're feeling that way too: scattered, exhausted, a little frayed at the edges, i hope this list feels like a small offering. not a solution, just a soft exhale. here are a few things that brought me tiny flickers of joy this april: books, cinema, and everything in between.

books and reading

the days of abandonment by elena ferrante
a woman’s husband leaves her, and instead of moving on gracefully, she comes undone. what follows is raw, almost feral, not a descent into madness, exactly, but a kind of psychic molting. ferrante drags you into the fever of it: the rage, the humiliation, the terrifying clarity. it’s a book about being gutted and still, somehow, staying alive inside the wreckage.

middlemarch by george eliot
it’s not just a novel, this was an ecosystem of a literary experience. dorothea wants purpose, lydgate wants progress, and everyone else is tangled in some version of ambition, compromise, or quiet despair. eliot doesn’t write characters; she vivisects them, gently, brilliantly. reading it feels like watching the human soul under a microscope: nothing escapes.

ghosts by edith wharton
these are ghost stories in the loosest sense, the real hauntings are internal. unspoken regrets, decaying relationships, grief that hangs around like fog. wharton’s restraint is what makes it all so eerie; she’s not interested in jump scares. her horror is the kind that settles in quietly and never leaves.

the vet’s daughter by barbara comyns
this one reads like a fever dream. a girl trapped in a cruel, gray world discovers she has a strange gift, not quite magical, not quite explainable. comyns writes in a style that feels deceptively simple, almost childlike, which makes the brutality land harder. it’s gothic, surreal, and deeply sad in a way that sneaks up on you.

an inquiry concerning human understanding by david hume
hume basically asks: how do you know anything, really? and then gently dismantles every answer you think you have. he’s clinical but playful, cutting but calm, like someone telling you your house is imaginary while offering you tea. it’s unsettling in the best way, and still feels like essential reading for anyone who likes to tug at the seams of reality.

the immortal perfumes magazine
a quarterly print and digital magazine for scent obsessives and romantics exploring the history of perfume, moody reviews, scent-drenched recipes, zodiac pairings, and a slightly unhinged (but always on point) dear nose advice column.

the brambly hedge coloring book
pure inner child therapy. the gentlest way to touch grass without leaving your house. there is nothing that feels better than trading screen time for colored markers and cozy woodland scenes.

for cinema, check out my latest post where i featured some of my recent mubi favorites… apart from film, i’ve been watching snoopy, fleabag, bob’s burgers, the boondocks, young royals, and the proud family.

candles:

diptyque tuberose
lush, narcotic milky tuberose with a velvety sweetness, it smells like a warm summer night tangled in silk sheets and secrets. floral, heady, and just a little decadent. i have the red candle and it’s so stunning in my bedroom.

diptyque vetiver
earthy and smoky, like dry roots crushed underfoot in a sun-warmed forest. not green or grassy, this is vetiver with depth and grit, pared down and quietly commanding.

byredo tree house
smells like cedar walls, incense smoke, and the feeling of being hidden away somewhere sacred. woody, airy, and a little mysterious, like an abandoned shrine in the trees.

bath & body works iced lemon pound cake
like walking into a bakery where the air is thick with sugar and lemon glaze. sweet, buttery, and a little nostalgic, it smells like comfort in cake form.

fragrances:

snow moon magic by source
smells like a midnight dessert ritual under a warm blanket: cookie crumbs, buttered chai, melted marshmallow, and a ghost of lavender in the steam. cozy, enchanted, and just a little feral. like a spell you bake instead of cast.

eau rose edp by diptyque
a living rose, stem, petal, and thorn. bright and green with a splash of lychee, like someone crushed a bouquet between pages of a notebook. it’s clean, elegant, and breathes like skin in the sun.

eau duelle edp by diptyque
vanilla, but stripped of innocence. spiced and resinous, with shadows of incense and black tea curling around the sweetness. smells like a monastery with secrets, warm stone, and candlewax melting slowly.

little flower by régime des fleurs
a holy rose steeped in incense and shadow. this isn’t fresh-cut, it’s sacred and bruised, like petals left on an altar. haunting and strangely pure, the kind of floral that feels lit from within.

happy dust by narcotica
sugar drenched but not soft, mango, vanilla, and brown sugar melt into warm musk and creamy sandalwood, with a hit of matcha and mate to keep it sharp. smells like a glittering breakdown, joyful and a little unhinged. intoxicating in every direction.

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miscellaneous

-roses, flowers from the farmers market, trader joe’s flowers, lilies: buying flowers for myself and putting them all over my home

-davines hair gel: i recommend this one if you want a lighter hold. i’ve been trying to avoid aerosol hairsprays and texture sprays because they make my allergies go crazy. so i’ve swapped the spray for gel whenever i want texture in my hair. these both smell amazing and even though i’m also an oribe girl, i’ve been loving davines.

-u pick farms: one of my favorite seasonal rituals is visiting u-pick farms and gathering whatever produce is in season. we went strawberry picking the other day and it was the kind of perfect that feels like a memory even while it’s happening. we got our own little basket and wandered through the rows, choosing the ripest berries and (naturally) eating a few along the way. afterward, we drank cold strawberry lemonade, ate kettle corn, and visited the tiny farm animals. it was soft and sweet and so simple. one of those days that reminds you how good it feels to just be outside, doing something with your hands, moving slowly.

-jazz with snoopy: look at this sweet boy shopping for groceries and tidying up the produce section.

-aesop reverence hand balm: i’ve been keeping this by my bed and using it almost like a closing ceremony for the day. it smells woody and a little smoky. vetiver, bergamot rind, petitgrain, like warm roots and dusted stone. it’s not floral or sweet, but grounded, almost monastic. the kind of scent that makes you want to take a deep breath and slow down. it’s thick, nourishing, and just tactile enough to feel like care without indulgence. i think of it as a small act of reverence… for my body, for the day, for the quiet that comes after. the hand soap is another favorite of mine.

-speaking of snoopy, i’ve been watching snoopy every single day: the old orginal peanuts specials as well as the newer seasons on apple tv. i’ve needed something soothing in the background while i study, work, read, write. this is a balm to the soul, truly.

-pilates & stretching in the dark: at night, i’ve been doing slow stretches and it’s been helping calm my nervous system when everything else feels too much. i’ve been thinking a lot about pilates lately. i’m a certified instructor and practiced it throughout my years as a ballet dancer. part of me really wants to rent a reformer for home, just to have that feeling of alignment and control again. quiet movement, intentional breath. it’s how i’ve been coming back to myself.

-playing chess: lately, i’ve been playing a lot of chess. sometimes online, sometimes with a physical board, usually with jazz music playing in the background. it makes me feel calm and sharp at the same time. like i’m tending to my brain instead of letting it fray.

-muesli: oats, dried fruits and nuts, cold almond milk and a glass of orange juice for breakfast has been perfect. it also reminds me of my grandpa. this was one of his favorite breakfasts. when i was a little girl, he would also make me a bowl of cheerios with apple sauce on top and pour milk on top. a strange, wonderful, sweet nostalgic breakfast concoction.

–spraying perfume before bed: because scent is memory, and memory is survival. even if no one else smells it, you do. my favorites lately have been molecule + iris for something calming and light and snow moon magic for something more gourmand.

okay, that’s all for now… the small comforts, the strange obsessions, the rituals that kept me tethered this month. if april felt heavy for you too, i hope this list made you feel a little less alone. there’s something tender about noticing what we reach for when things are overwhelming. the books we annotate, the candles we burn to the bottom, the songs we put on repeat. it’s not about fixing anything. just about paying attention to what soothes, what softens, what makes us feel more like ourselves.

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i love you.

bye.

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