sylvia plath's fig tree

Hello.

I have a lot of thoughts about career changing and I’m still trying to process everything that has happened recently about being let go and figuring out my next move. One of the things that has crossed my mind recently is the fig tree metaphor from The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. In the book, the fig tree metaphor brilliantly captures Esther’s paralysis in the face of overwhelming choice. Each fig represents a different life path, such as a career, marriage, or artistic pursuit, and Esther's inability to choose just one leads to her fear that all opportunities will eventually wither away. This metaphor powerfully illustrates the anxiety of young adulthood, where the abundance of potential futures can feel as crippling as it is liberating. It's like standing at a buffet of life choices and starving simply because you can't decide what to put on your plate.

While the fig tree metaphor in The Bell Jar poignantly captures the anxiety of choice, one could argue it somewhat exaggerates the permanence of each decision, potentially distorting the reality of life's flexibility. In reality, life paths aren't always mutually exclusive and irreversible as the metaphor suggests. People often weave in and out of careers and personal milestones, adapting and changing directions as circumstances evolve. This perspective emphasizes resilience and adaptability over the fear of making an irrevocable mistake, suggesting that no single choice necessarily precludes others down the line.

There’s a lot to think about here. And I have mulled over this dichotomy for the majority of my existence. For example… my dream has always been medicine. I wanted to be a physician at a very young age, and the itch to pursue that dream is very much still prevalent in my life, especially after being disposed of time and time again in the lifeless span of my corporate world endeavors. There is no meaning or purpose or passion in corporate life, and as someone who has always been purpose driven, this path has been quite depleting for me.

My fig tree is comprised of: physician, writer, miranda priestly, living in a cottage in the english countryside with a small farm filled with baby cows, chickens, and lambs a few house cats and a couple dogs and I’d have 3 more children and an open kitchen where I can bake pies for my neighbors and have intimate dinner parties with my closest friends. I am an extremest, you see. Physician has always been the ripest, plumpest, almost sinfully good-looking fig on my tree. But that’s not to say the others wouldn’t be just as tasty. A lot of the other options on my tree sound pleasant, but unrealistic without some sort of revenue coming in to make that type of life feel comfortable. The life of a physician is the antithesis. It’s a long, arduous and grueling path that requires so much time, effort, grit, resilience, etc. But the outcome… once you’ve made it and after you’ve put in the hard work and you’re on the other side and you can look at yourself in the mirror and say I did that shit- I would imagine that level of accomplishment supersedes any other feeling in the world. I want to emphasize here that this feeling of accomplishment can only be obtained if you’re chasing your true passion. Many people enter into careers for the wrong reason. I’ve done this. I can tell you, the outcome has never been good (I’m living with these consequences as we speak).

Timing is another important aspect of careers and dream chasing which is why career changing needs to have more recognition and acceptance in our society. In undergrad when I was pursuing medicine, I can tell you I was not ready at all to take on that sort of endeavor and for the longest time, I convinced myself that I would never be able to pursue again because I would “be too old” (and insert every other excuse in the book). Timing is everything. The amount of growth and maturity we obtain as we evolve throughout our 20s deserves more recognition and awareness. Your dreams can change as you grow. Your dreams can evolve and shift or they can stay and become even stronger. Unfortunately, we live in a society where career changing is not something people tend to support or respect. It’s often frowned upon. And I just want everyone to realize that it’s okay to change your mind and choose a different path no matter what age you are. Do you know how many people are miserable in their careers had have mid-life crisis’ because they feel stuck? This is one of my greatest fears.

Another Sylvia Plath quote that feels very relevant: “What is my life for and what am I going to do with it? I don't know and I'm afraid. I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones, and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.”

Plath expresses a profound existential dilemma: she yearns to absorb every possible human experience—reading all books, living multiple lives, mastering various skills—but is acutely aware of her limitations. This realization brings her frustration and a sense of confinement, as her desires to experience the full spectrum of life clash with the reality of human constraints. It’s paralyzing.

Her struggle encapsulates the universal tension between boundless ambition and the unavoidable boundaries set by time and circumstance. This feeling of being stuck can be as much about the frustration of unexplored potential as it is about the current dissatisfaction with one's career. The desire to experience different roles or industries and the realization of being limited by current skills, experience, or practical life constraints mirror Plath's existential struggle. The tension between what one wants to do and what one feels they can do highlights a common struggle in career growth, sparking feelings of stagnation and the need to find meaning within existing circumstances or courage to embrace change.

I don’t have the answers to any of these issues, but I think about them often and it’s important to have these discussions with one another to create awareness and empathy and understanding.

All this to say… this feeling seems to resonate with many of us. As I map out my next big move, I will continue to explore and see what doors open. I hope you do the same.

I love you.

Bye <3