my anxieties have anxiety: tools and resources that actually help

hello.

when i tell you that i have anxiety, i don’t mean the typical worried feelings that come with preparing for an upcoming exam or presentation, or an important interview, no. i mean physically debilitating panic attacks that makes me feel out of breath, dizzy, faint, and petrified of my surroundings and my own brain. i feel terrified to live in my own body and mind, trapped in an emotional spiral i can’t escape. often times, when i feel a panic attack coming (which is frequently these days), my vision and my breathing are the first physiological signs that let me know bad things are coming. i get tunnel vision and my surrounding become disorienting, my breathing becomes tight and that double breath i’m searching for, which is the only thing that can calm me down, cannot be found or attained. i completely shut down, and like a passenger on plane that begins to plummet and crash, it’s an inevitable fate i can’t escape from and something i know i’ll have to ride out until it’s over.

i remember the first time i had a true panic attack, shortly after the pandemic. anxiety is a term that gets thrown around too frequently, and while i don’t want to minimize “normal” feelings of uncomfortable anxiety, this post is not meant for that. this post is for people who can relate to this terrifying invisible disease of debilitating anxiety. it’s for people who have missed out on career, academic, and friendship opportunities because of panic and hysteria. it’s for people who would rather stay home or cancel plans to avoid having a public episode. it’s for people who go to bed and worry about waking up having no idea if today will be a lost day.

i can’t tell you how many times people have recommended breathing as a coping mechanism, but when breathing is the first thing to go during a panic attack, and the last thing on my mind, and it’s the least useful tactic when it comes to pushing through an episode. no, i need physical tools to quite literally shock my brain out of panic.

before i continue into this list of things that have somewhat mitigated panic attacks from spiraling out of control, i want to emphasize that yes, i’ve considered medication. i’ve been told by multiple therapists and psychiatrists that i’m not the best candidate for meds for multiple reasons that i wont be getting into. that does not mean that meds are wrong for you, too. i’m a huge advocate for medication and doing what is right for you, and you only. so if you’re struggling, it’s imperative that you see a therapist and/or psychologist because i’m far from a professional, but rather, a host for this terrible invisible disease that is anxiety.

here are some things that help a little. maybe they’ll help you, too.

panic attack plan

-instant ice pack on the back of the neck and chest: ice is shock therapy. if you’re in the middle of a panic attack, i’m sorry, you’re in too deep and you’re not making it to the sink in the bathroom for a splash of cold water. you need something now. these instant ice packs are portable and an instant relief to shock your mind and body out of panic.

-palm on chest: pressing the palm of my hand in the center of my upper chest helps from the pressure. it grounds me (more so than “planting my feet on the ground”)

-sour candy: a tasty way to shock your brain away from panic and into a state of holy shit this is sour. i always keep sour candy on hand. my favorite are the yumearth sour candies because they’re “healthier”. however, they’re not as sour as sour skittles. but the yumearth don’t leave a terrible taste in my mouth so i like them better. also, i recommend a candy over a gummy so you can suck on the sour stuff right away.

-dark chocolate: I’m going to give a healthier recommendation i love- these choczero dark chocolate almond squares are my favorite. these ghiradelli dark chocolate squares are great, too. just get something you can keep in your pocket or purse. dove is good, too. and if you love coconut, you’ll love these.

-oral fixation- ginger chews, lollipops: i’m giving you my favorites here. they’re healthier and it feels more sustainable. the lollipops are similar to those caramel apple lollipops you get during halloween. having something to suck on or chew on is a great distraction and if you’re like me and you hate gum, this is a nice and tasty alternative.

-gentle pinching on arm or thigh: sometimes if i’m in the middle of an exam or interview i have to pinch the shit out of myself to snap out of it. i’m not telling you to do this.

-tapping technique: lightly tap fingers together or other area of your body to distract the brain from spiraling from the rhythmic tapping. there’s also a special technique to tapping that you can watch here. obviously if you’re in public, this might be difficult or awkward, but it’s better than passing out, right?

-hand press: press palms of your hands together in front of your chest (like you’re praying). press as hard or gentle as you like. there’s something about this movement, similar to pressing your palm against your chest, that feels grounding and calming.

-snap rubber band or hair tie on wrist: i keep a hair tie on my wrist for this purpose. sometimes i’ll snap the shit out of my hair tie to shock my brain. again, not recommending you do this.

-press down firmly on the space between your index fingers and your thumb (acupressure points): acupressure works for some and not others. try it and see if you like it.

-if you’re searching for your breath, sit down, lean forward and rest arms on your knees to open your chest to achieve double breath: breathing is something that negatively affects me during a panic attack and it makes me panic even more when i can’t find my breath. this position can help.

-relax your jaw, allow your mouth to open: sometimes when we’re in the thick of the moment, you don’t realize how tightly your jaw is clenched. relax.

-finger counting breath: tap each finger to your thumb and count. this is another great way to distract your brain while coupling it with physical touch that you can do anywhere.

-clench and release fists: this is another physical movement that might work for you.

-cold water shock: if you have access to a sink, splash cold water on your face or get a damp paper towel and put it on the back of your neck. the ideal alternative to an ice pack. this is another way to take the focus off of the panic and anxiety. it quickly resets your brain.

-rub the back of your ears or the back of your neck for a calming response: maybe you respond better to comforting touch instead of physically harming yourself with pinches and rubber band snaps. i love the feeling of rubbing the lobes of my ears or the back of my neck

-fidget tool! there are many fidget tools out there but this one is by far my favorite. it’s also great if you have adhd and you’re trying to read or study. it helps with focus immensely and it also distracts your brain from the soothing motion of rubbing this tool around your hands. this is the same one with little ridges if you like that.

-mini massager: another, more comforting, form of touch to distract your brain with pressure and pleasure. if you’re into a more deep tissue percussing massage, this one is great. if you prefer more of a rolling kneading massage, this one is great.

-mini fan for air: if you’re like me and need air for relief, and can’t get to a window or outside, consider getting a mini fan to physically blow air into your face.

-smelling alcohol or perfume: rubbing alcohol is not always accessible, but i recommend keeping a travel size of your favorite perfume. something that feels warm and comforting. you could also get something more affordable from bath and body works. hand lotion is another great options that’s not as strong. here are some i love: strawberry pound cake hand cream. i get so many compliments on this hand sanitizer (another great smelling option). i actually get more compliments on this hand sanitizer than some of my pricer fragrances. perfect option if you also want clean hands. these are easy to keep in your pocket or purse as well. (i don’t do essential oils- i really dislike the smell of them)

-the rule of threes: what are three things you can see? three things you can hear? three things you can touch? sometimes this helps redirect attention from anxiety into being present.

-bluey: say what you want about children’s shows, but just know that there is nothing that calms me down more than plugging into the most wholesome, comforting, children’s tv show. yes, bluey. download disney+ (you could even use youtube and create a mini playlist of comforting clips to watch). save some episodes you love. if it’s not bluey, find your favorite comfort show as a child and have it ready for when you need it most.

-jellycat cuddles: i’m a child and will forever advocate for adults having stuffed animals. bartholomew bear is my favorite jellycat ever. also consider a jellycat keychain to hang on your bang for portable serotonin.

-what is my next thought?- this is something my stepdad (who is a psychologist) recommended to me. he said when you start to feel the onset of panic, ask your brain, “what is my next thought?”. the catch is, it’s impossible. your brain doesn’t really know your next thought, and hopefully this realization will force your brain to go blank.

-journaling: get off the screen, away from your environment, and write. write anything. write lists, writes scribbles, doodles, complete nonsense. doesn’t matter. just write. this is my favorite journal.

-music: what kind of music calms you down? for me, it depends on my mood, but it’s one of these two: tender jazz or lofi (this is my winter lofi playlist since we’re approaching the winter/christmas season soon, and i have not released it yet, but i’m sharing it with you because i love you). i love classical, but sometimes it doesn’t feel neutralizing enough.

-your basic needs: have you eaten? have you drank enough water today? do you have to pee? have you slept? i put this one last because it’s the most obvious and the one we forget the most. tending to one of the above that needs support can mitigate a hefty chunk of your anxiety. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve found that the source of my anxiety is directly related to the fact that my blood sugar is low, i need to sit down, or that i haven’t peed in hours and i need to go.

For vision: as i mentioned earlier, the two physiologically triggers that affect me the most are breathing and vision. i get very disoriented when i’m anxious (like the walls are closing in on me type of feelings), similar to how you feel when you’re walking down a long stark hallway without windows or doors. so hear are some things that help my vision.

-eyedrops: these are my favorite eyedrops recommended to me by a physician. if i’m on the screen all day and i get have a headache and i feel anxious, forget about it… but these help my eyes feel less strained.

-soften your gaze: look at this video (2:13 time stamp) for how to achieve this. this one helps me a lot as my eyes get very fatigued very quickly.

-sunglasses or blue light glasses: these are some bluelight glasses i love. it helps reduce the onset of headaches from the screen. and sometimes, you just need to shut out the world around you. for that i like oversize sunnies. like these or these.

-micro goals along the way (5 steps closer): this might sound silly, but sometimes i have to tell myself in my head that i’m 5 steps closer to making it through a long hallway, or 5 seconds closer to getting out of an elevator, etc. repeating these micro goals in your head can help.

okay, that’s all i have for today. i truly, truly hope this helps. i know (probably more than anyone) how debilitating this physical anxiety can be. i can’t tell you how many opportunities i’ve missed out on because of it. these things i listed above are not a cure all. sometimes you really do just need to ride it out, as hard as it is. but i’m hoping that some of the more dramatic interventions that can physically shock your brain out of a panic attack will help you as much as it has helped me.

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i love you.

bye.

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