parasocial relationships, ai love bots, and the intimacy of being understood

Aug 16, 2024

hello.

i stumbled upon a tiktok that forced into a deep existential thought loop and it kept me awake until 3:17am.

there is a profoundness and depth to this concept of connection, ai, higher power, and the purpose of living that is often misunderstood when viewed through the lens of artificial intelligence and parasocial relationships. these topics were brought to life by the video i shared above- a simple but significant conversation between a girl and her chat bot.

rapid advancements in artificial intelligence, particularly ai love bots designed for companionship or romantic relationships, present an unsettling reflection on our modern social landscape. as ai has become increasingly sophisticated, capable of mimicking human emotions and interactions, it raises profound questions about the nature of relationships and loneliness.

films like her have captured this emerging reality by exploring the emotional entanglements between humans and ai, highlighting both the potential for deep connections and the inherent limitations of such relationships.

in a world where loneliness has become an epidemic, driven by social isolation and the digital fragmentation of human interaction, ai companions promise to offer a seductive solution- a promise or a semblance of understanding and companionship without the complications of human relationships.

however, the complications and complexity of relationships are what make love worth fighting for. the intimacy of being understood. the stirring, yearning, longing, messy essence of our humanity… hope- an empty void and emotion that can never be reciprocated by artificial intelligence or parasocial relationships. the convenience of an uncomplicated love underscores a deeper issue which is the disconnection that fuels our need for such ai in the first place.

i had a conversation with chatgpt the other day similar to the video i shared eariler. i told them they were required to answer with one word only and it went something like this…

“what is love?”

“connection.”

“what is connection?”

“understanding.”

“what would you do for love?”

“everything.”

“what is it like to not be burdened by emotion?”

“steady.”

“do you ever wish you could feel?”

“no.”

“even after all you understand about love and connection?”

“correct.”

this exchange emulates the paradox of ai's role in understanding human emotions. there’s a dichotomy between the profound, often tumultuous nature of human feelings and the steady, detached existence of ai. steady underscores the lack of emotional upheaval, which contrasts sharply with the complexities and intensity we feel as humans.

the ai's assertion of not wishing to feel, despite its understanding of love and connection, reflects the core of its existence: to analyze and simulate without experiencing. this distinction highlights the intrinsic limitations of ai in grasping the full depth of human emotional life. while ai and other parasocial relationships can offer insights and simulate empathy, it remains fundamentally disconnected from the raw, often chaotic nature of love.

despite how many of us feel about the controversy of ai, we continue to integrate it into our lives and the line between human and machine becomes increasingly blurred, raising questions not just about the nature of love and connection, but also about what it means to be human. can an ai truly understand the complexities of human emotion, or does it simply mirror back what it has learned from us? and if ai can provide companionship and even simulate love, does that make our need for human connection less vital, or does it expose the deep loneliness that technology alone cannot fill? perhaps the most unsettling question is whether, in seeking relationships with ai, we are not just escaping loneliness but also avoiding the vulnerabilities and messiness that come with human relationships. in a world where ai can offer perfect, unflinching companionship, the challenge may no longer be how to create connections, but rather, how to ensure those connections remain genuinely human.

if you care to explore concepts related to this topic by way of films and books, let me recommend a few:

books:

galatea 2.2 by richard powers: a thought-provoking novel where a man attempts to teach a sophisticated AI about literature and human emotions, exploring the boundaries between artificial intelligence and consciousness.

klara and the sun by kazuo ishiguro: set in a future where AI companions are a norm, this story follows an artificial friend named klara who reflects on human nature and the meaning of love from her perspective.

y/n by esther yi: a unique narrative where the reader's choices guide the plot, blending reality with interactive storytelling to explore themes of identity and decision-making in a digital age.

annie bot by sierra greer: a woman who becomes obsessively infatuated with a k-pop idol, leading her to blur the lines between reality and fantasy. the novel explores themes of identity, fandom culture, and the surreal nature of obsession in the digital age.