so... what are we doing for thanksgiving?

hello.

i had something different written here before the election, but now that we know the fate of this country, here it goes…

as someone with family who share opposing political views (and very strong and abrasive opinions about them), i’ve decided to celebrate my thanksgiving and christmas with friends instead. everyone’s circumstances are different. i only write this to you so that if you find yourself in a similar situation, you will feel less alone and more empowered to do what is right for you. i understand there are so many people out there who have lost family members and would give anything to be able to celebrate with them. i see you, i hear you, i empathize with you. families are complicated. not everyone is lucky enough to have one. but i also want to highlight that the people who do have families here with them, it’s not always a positive and healthy experience. families can be toxic, abusive, manipulative, etc… nuance. so i ask that you take into consideration and understand that every single person and situation is difference and unique.

i still can’t wrap my head around what happened this week. my brain is buzzing- spinning and spiraling about how to move forward and i don’t have the answers yet). but if you know anything about me… you’ll know that i’ve been planning, mulling, mourning, stirring and trying to figure out my next move.

i decided to publish this letter as a balm to the soul- something comforting (a distraction, maybe? or perhaps a break from the ominous news feed that is inundating our phones)

moving forward, the content in this letter will be light-hearted and comforting. if you’re not in the space to read this, save it for later or exit out. you won’t hurt my feelings, i promise. i know for me during hard times, i go through waves where i want to educate myself and read deep analytical literature to understand the gravity of the current situation while balancing that with something soothing and comforting. for me, that type of content is always found through food, holidays, traditions, seasons. with that said, i’m going to share my thanksgiving list with you.

thanksgiving is often overlooked, but i would argue that it’s one of the coziest, comforting holidays of them all. friends, food, gratitude. all of the things we take for granted. thanksgiving feels like the lull before the rush and excitement of christmas- a time to pause, reflect, eat good food, cook together, gather, and rest. whether you’re hosting a friendsgiving or a tradition family get together, i hope there are people you can spend this holiday with who feel like home.

some questions…

this list will be shorter as many things overlap from autumn into thanksgiving, but nevertheless, i wanted to provide you with some media and resources to make this holiday feel extra special and intentional.

a thanksgiving list

films

a charlie brown thanksgiving (1973)

it’s the great pumpkin, charlie brown (1966)

fantastic mr. fox (2009)

holidate (2020)

the addams family values (1993)

little women (2019)

the royal tenenbaums (2001)

lady bird (2017)

the object of my affection (1998)

winnie the pooh and the blustery day (1968)

when harry met sally (1989)

you’ve got mail (1998)

moonrise kingdom (2012)

matilda (1996)

tv shows

not tv per se… but one of my favorite things to watch during this holiday is

Alison Roman

’s thanksgiving videos on youtube. this playlist and this one. i love her so much. my dream is to be invited to her ham party one day.

normal people (2020)

friends

the queens gambit (2020)

books

crime and punishment by fyodor dostoevsky: a deep psychological exploration of guilt and redemption, following a young man’s moral struggle after committing a heinous crime.

rebecca by daphne du maurier – a gothic tale of suspense, rebecca follows an unnamed protagonist who marries wealthy widower maxim de winter, only to find herself haunted by the memory of his first wife, rebecca. as she unravels rebecca’s mysterious past, secrets and rivalries surface, creating an atmosphere of psychological tension.

the goldfinch by donna tartt: a richly layered narrative about a boy who survives a tragic event and clings to a stolen painting as he navigates a tumultuous path through life.

dead poets society by n.h. kleinbaum: an inspiring story of a teacher who encourages his students to seize the day and think for themselves, challenging the constraints of their traditional academic environment.

the secret history by donna tartt: a gripping tale of elite college students whose obsession with ancient greek culture spirals into murder and moral decay.

the price of salt by claire morgan- also known as carol, this love story follows the relationship between two women defying societal expectations. it beautifully captures the complexities of desire, identity, and the quest for acceptance. if you haven’t seen the film, i highly recommend it.

the brothers karamazov by fyodor dostoevsky- this landed a spot in my top 3 all time favorite books the first time i read it. the story follows the lives of the karamazov brothers, exploring themes of faith, morality, and the struggle between good and evil. it challenges readers to confront profound philosophical questions while delivering a compelling family drama.

the fawn by magda szabo- a woman reflects on her past while caring for a mysterious fawn, symbolizing innocence and lost youth. the narrative delves into themes of identity and the complexities of human relationships.

recipes:

all of these recipes are taken from the nyt cooking website (one of the very few online recipe resources i trust- plus alison roman)

-turkey

-mashed potatoes

-sweet potato casserole

-gravy

-stuffing, stuffing 2

-green bean casserole

-pumpkin pie

-apple pie

-cranberry sauce

-baked brie

-mac and cheese

-leftovers (the best part): thanksgiving hot pocket, turkey soup, sandwich, turkey pho, turkey pot pie, cobb salad

fragrances for thanksgiving dinner:

-jany by sora dora: apple peach, apricot, puff pastry, osmanthus, hazelnut, plum, caramel, almond, musk, vanilla

-althair by parfums de marly: a stunning vanilla. notes: orange blossom, bergamot, cinnamon, bourbon vanilla, guaiac wood, ambrox, praline, musk.

-orpheon by diptyque: notes: juniper, jasmine, cedar, tonka (highly recommend the body wash- the best diptyque fragrance in my opinion)

-the noir 29 by le labo*: notes: fig, bay leaf, bergamot, cedar, vetiver, musk, tobacco, hay

-falling trees by regime des fleurs: notes: oak, juniper, benzoin, myrrh, incense, moss

-1996 by byredo: notes: juniper, iris, voilet, amber, leather, patchouli

-bibliotque by byredo: notes: plum, peach, violet, leather, vanilla. patchouli, musk

-pumpkin creme by le monde gourmand: notes: pumpkin spice, nutmeg, frothed milk, musk, sandalwood

-molecule 01 by escentric molecules*: notes: iso e super (all time favorite fragrance- it’s a “your skin but better” scent. very warm and woody)

-tahota by indult**: notes: vanilla, musk (this is the best vanilla fragrance to ever exist)

candles:

-byredo: bibliotque*, chai

-diptyque: opopanax*, encre*, noisetier, narguile

-anthropologie: caramel apple cinnamon, oatmeal cookie*, pumpkin and sweet vanilla*

-bath and body works: nostalgia… marshmallow fireside*, sweet cinnamon pumpkin, cinnamon caramel swirl, frosted cranberry, leaves

-nest: pumpkin and autumn plum

-nette candles: chai milk

music:

two playlists for your thanksgiving day…

one for autumn

one for christmas

both jazzy, warm, cozy, and intimate

activities and traditions

-host a friendsgiving: something warm, intimate, simple. ask your guests to bring a dish to add to the table. put on a good music, drink wine, relax.

-watch a charlie brown thanksgiving: a classic, light-hearted way to celebrate this special day. you can even re-create snoopy’s thanksgiving dinner with toast, popcorn, jelly beans, strawberry milk shakes, etc.

-save food for leftovers the next day: leftovers are the best part of thanksgiving. there are so many different ways to repurpose all of the delicious food you prepared the day before.

-make a gratitude jar: it doesn’t have to be a jar. you can even write it down in your journal. this feels especially important this year given the circumstances of our country.

-watch all of the thanksgiving friends episodes: or another show you find comforting.

-build a puzzle: do you enjoy puzzles, too? a great way to get off the screen and do something to challenge your brain or distract you stress and anxiety.

-lastly… if you’re not able to be with family or friends, consider pre-ordering dinner so you don’t have to stress about making a mess in the kitchen. on the flip side, if you find comfort in the kitchen, look up thanksgiving recipes for two and plan to have a fun solo date in the kitchen. put on a jazzy playlist, watch ina garten in the background, facetime your best friends, read a book and drink hot cocoa and eat pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.

okay, that’s all for today.

if you’re not ready to become a paid subscriber and you have the capacity to leave a tip, that would be so appreciated. 

i love you.

bye.

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