I love this and this whole topic has been on my mind the past couple of years... how to live a life where I don't need much. I'm trying to do things more deliberately, from brushing my teeth to making coffee, to reading essays here to listening to music without doing a million other things... anyway, I'm trying...
Another film recco: Perfect Days (2023) I think it's on Netflix. It's about a man who cleans toilets in Tokyo... but it's also very much not about a man who cleans toilets.
i was just about to comment that perfect days was a perfect addition to the film section of this piece! i love that the film shows both the beauty in life's cycle of joys and hardships.
I really related to this piece! There is nothing wrong with wanting a simple and 'quiet' life. I think that it comes down to what you value and how you view what this life means for you. We've been tricked into thinking that we should be bright and flashy with our lives for others without taking a step back and wondering if that is what we really want.
You made me think of the poems of Mary Oliver - it's wonderful to find golden moments in the fabric of everyday life. But I find that I need someone to remind me to look - and your piece did just that.
I loved this...probably the most beautiful and stirring words I've read from you...because this is me.I was adopted by older people whose parents were immigrants;this is how I was raised and how I still roll.When I come home from work,shedding shoes,bags,etc.,I grab some hot coffee and my cats are immediately all over me...this every day,my books,beloved little things I display and like to look at,never fails to make me feel better.I walk everywhere...just seeing small things others overlook and the coolness of still being alive is just the best thing!Thank you for your words,stories of your aunt and uncle,and appreciation of the simple things...
wow, i love this so much. there's so much beauty in the mundane and i think it requires us to be introspective and aware of the significance in life's simplicities.
Thank you for this. I have always valued a slower and more meaningful life, but continuously get pulled back to doing more, wanting a job with an impressive title (just in case anyone asks in small talk), and having this feeling that if I don't record and showcase my life, it doesn't matter. Even when I AM living a slower and meaningful life, there's something in my brain that needs everyone to know this about me and that I'm better than them for doing so. The internet has seriously messed up my brain lol. So lately I've been working on doing things just for the sake of doing them - and not for any other reason.
thank you for writing this. right now, this is my favorite thing you’ve ever written. you captured something i’ve been thinking about but couldn’t put into words..the beauty in living a smaller & more intentional life. it feels like permission to slow down and appreciate the little things, which is something i really needed to hear. this piece will forever be special to me.. don’t ever delete.
Yes!! I think about this all the time - it's like a quiet reminder whenever I feel that comparison seeping in. What makes me happiest? The smaller moments always.
it's always the smaller moments. anytime i've ever spoken to an elderly person, the small, simple, mundane moments of their lives always hold the most meaning. more often than not, they wish they had more of those moments to experience.
Thank you, thank you for this, Caitlyn. I feel like finding the path to pursuing less is on ever-rotation in my mind. When I reflect on who I was a decade ago – fresh-faced and in my 20s, clamoring after the corner office – it's disorienting to realize that I don't know who that is anymore. But also incredibly refreshing. There is so much depth, magic and joy in the 'mundane.'
I had to watch jeanne dielman for my film course this semester and most of my class really hated it. I loved the mundanity of that film, it made me feel so happy to live
Thank you for the great essay. Can I ask respectfully, why do you not capitalize the beginning of your sentences? It makes reading a great essay quite painful.
I also really enjoyed the essay, but dislike the odd insistence on not using capital letters! Writing and punctuation conventions exist to help readers. Ignoring some of them like this is an odd choice.
People keep asking me if I’m depressed because I like going to bed early and getting up early. No, I’m not depressed—I just found my routine and I like it. It’s simple, it works, and I don’t need more. Not everything has to be about hustle or staying up late pretending I’m interested in talking to people I don’t know.
would like to recommend Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner as well — a few excerpts in hopes that youll be convinced:
“In my experience, the world’s happiest man is a young professor building bookcases, and the world’s most contented couple is composed of that young professor and his wife, in love, employed, at the bottom of a depression from which it is impossible to fall further, and entering on their first year as full adults, not preparing any longer but finally into their lives.”
“How do you make a book that anyone will read out of lives as quiet as these? Where are the things that novelists seize upon and readers expect? Where is the high life, the conspicuous waste, the violence, the kinky sex, the death wish? Where are the suburban infidelities, the promiscuities, the convulsive divorces, the alcohol, the drugs, the lost weekends? Where are the hatreds, the political ambitions, the lust for power? Where are speed, noise, ugliness, everything that makes us who we are and makes us recognize ourselves in fiction?”
I love this and this whole topic has been on my mind the past couple of years... how to live a life where I don't need much. I'm trying to do things more deliberately, from brushing my teeth to making coffee, to reading essays here to listening to music without doing a million other things... anyway, I'm trying...
Another film recco: Perfect Days (2023) I think it's on Netflix. It's about a man who cleans toilets in Tokyo... but it's also very much not about a man who cleans toilets.
i was just about to comment that perfect days was a perfect addition to the film section of this piece! i love that the film shows both the beauty in life's cycle of joys and hardships.
great recommendations thank you!
I immediately thought of that film too 🥰
I really related to this piece! There is nothing wrong with wanting a simple and 'quiet' life. I think that it comes down to what you value and how you view what this life means for you. We've been tricked into thinking that we should be bright and flashy with our lives for others without taking a step back and wondering if that is what we really want.
yes, agreed!
You made me think of the poems of Mary Oliver - it's wonderful to find golden moments in the fabric of everyday life. But I find that I need someone to remind me to look - and your piece did just that.
that is such a good one <3
I loved this...probably the most beautiful and stirring words I've read from you...because this is me.I was adopted by older people whose parents were immigrants;this is how I was raised and how I still roll.When I come home from work,shedding shoes,bags,etc.,I grab some hot coffee and my cats are immediately all over me...this every day,my books,beloved little things I display and like to look at,never fails to make me feel better.I walk everywhere...just seeing small things others overlook and the coolness of still being alive is just the best thing!Thank you for your words,stories of your aunt and uncle,and appreciation of the simple things...
wow, i love this so much. there's so much beauty in the mundane and i think it requires us to be introspective and aware of the significance in life's simplicities.
Thank you for this. I have always valued a slower and more meaningful life, but continuously get pulled back to doing more, wanting a job with an impressive title (just in case anyone asks in small talk), and having this feeling that if I don't record and showcase my life, it doesn't matter. Even when I AM living a slower and meaningful life, there's something in my brain that needs everyone to know this about me and that I'm better than them for doing so. The internet has seriously messed up my brain lol. So lately I've been working on doing things just for the sake of doing them - and not for any other reason.
small talk is out for 2025
Thank god
thank you for writing this. right now, this is my favorite thing you’ve ever written. you captured something i’ve been thinking about but couldn’t put into words..the beauty in living a smaller & more intentional life. it feels like permission to slow down and appreciate the little things, which is something i really needed to hear. this piece will forever be special to me.. don’t ever delete.
awe, thank you for your kind words. you don't ever need permission to slow down, recalibrate, etc. this little life is also very short.
Stunning
your username <3
Worst Person in the World is an incredible film, made me think a lot
i need to watch that!
Thank you so much for writing this, it was a beautiful reminder for all I want to create next year 🫶🏼
<33
Yes!! I think about this all the time - it's like a quiet reminder whenever I feel that comparison seeping in. What makes me happiest? The smaller moments always.
it's always the smaller moments. anytime i've ever spoken to an elderly person, the small, simple, mundane moments of their lives always hold the most meaning. more often than not, they wish they had more of those moments to experience.
Thank you, thank you for this, Caitlyn. I feel like finding the path to pursuing less is on ever-rotation in my mind. When I reflect on who I was a decade ago – fresh-faced and in my 20s, clamoring after the corner office – it's disorienting to realize that I don't know who that is anymore. But also incredibly refreshing. There is so much depth, magic and joy in the 'mundane.'
that damn corner office will be the death of corporate girlies.
I had to watch jeanne dielman for my film course this semester and most of my class really hated it. I loved the mundanity of that film, it made me feel so happy to live
oh, i love it so much.
Wow! Thank you for this. Been thinking about this myself.
🤎🤎
Thank you for the great essay. Can I ask respectfully, why do you not capitalize the beginning of your sentences? It makes reading a great essay quite painful.
I also really enjoyed the essay, but dislike the odd insistence on not using capital letters! Writing and punctuation conventions exist to help readers. Ignoring some of them like this is an odd choice.
People keep asking me if I’m depressed because I like going to bed early and getting up early. No, I’m not depressed—I just found my routine and I like it. It’s simple, it works, and I don’t need more. Not everything has to be about hustle or staying up late pretending I’m interested in talking to people I don’t know.
Great post!
would like to recommend Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner as well — a few excerpts in hopes that youll be convinced:
“In my experience, the world’s happiest man is a young professor building bookcases, and the world’s most contented couple is composed of that young professor and his wife, in love, employed, at the bottom of a depression from which it is impossible to fall further, and entering on their first year as full adults, not preparing any longer but finally into their lives.”
“How do you make a book that anyone will read out of lives as quiet as these? Where are the things that novelists seize upon and readers expect? Where is the high life, the conspicuous waste, the violence, the kinky sex, the death wish? Where are the suburban infidelities, the promiscuities, the convulsive divorces, the alcohol, the drugs, the lost weekends? Where are the hatreds, the political ambitions, the lust for power? Where are speed, noise, ugliness, everything that makes us who we are and makes us recognize ourselves in fiction?”