I swear, your timing is impeccable. Turning 34 in a few days, and I’ve wasted too much time dreading it, overthinking about who I want to be, panicking over feeling that time is running out, also worrying about my emotional (im)maturity. It feels overwhelming at times, like I have a lot of catching up to do. Working through it though!
I think very few things in life are perfect, and personally, I’m likely to find something to be unhappy about in/with any path that I pursue, so to Camus’ point, I’m trying to find comfort and freedom in it; if there’s unhappiness in most things, then I should be free to choose whichever. No overthinking “Is this the best decision, right path? Should I be doing something else?” I don’t want my tendency to find unhappiness get in the way the happiness that’s already there. Aging is a privilege and a blessing and I hope to really internalize that one day.
I feel understood, thanks Caitlyn. Happy birthday!!
Ah, all of this! thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'm glad it resonated with you. and that last part you said aging is a privilege is so spot on. i frequently need to remind myself of this. Happy early birthday to you!
I loved reading this. I feel like I’m having an existential moment in life right now too. I’ve been listening to the podcast “Philophosize This!” And I’m starting to feel like that tiny speck of dust, and it feels nice.
I highly recommend Susan Sontag’s essay on aging, part of the essay collection “On Women”. Perfect read about aging for women. I just finished Camus’ “The Stranger” and have been thinking about similar things. Loved this post.
As always you hit it right. It was easy for me to understand and see it. I felt it too. It's hard, especially in the age of technology and social media. Since my military life and returning to society, I'm the oldest among most. So, my age difference is an issue for some. I always figure if you and the other people connect, understand, and grow, age is nothing but what we let society say it is.
I feel the way to age gracefully is to dismiss age entirely from thought. Anti-aging products constantly remind you that you're old, the wrinkles need to be fought early before they form
In the end, it's all chemical. A good diet and clean beauty regimen cures the need to fight time with consumerism
I swear, your timing is impeccable. Turning 34 in a few days, and I’ve wasted too much time dreading it, overthinking about who I want to be, panicking over feeling that time is running out, also worrying about my emotional (im)maturity. It feels overwhelming at times, like I have a lot of catching up to do. Working through it though!
I think very few things in life are perfect, and personally, I’m likely to find something to be unhappy about in/with any path that I pursue, so to Camus’ point, I’m trying to find comfort and freedom in it; if there’s unhappiness in most things, then I should be free to choose whichever. No overthinking “Is this the best decision, right path? Should I be doing something else?” I don’t want my tendency to find unhappiness get in the way the happiness that’s already there. Aging is a privilege and a blessing and I hope to really internalize that one day.
I feel understood, thanks Caitlyn. Happy birthday!!
Ah, all of this! thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'm glad it resonated with you. and that last part you said aging is a privilege is so spot on. i frequently need to remind myself of this. Happy early birthday to you!
If you liked Being and Time, check out 'Introduction to Metaphysics' by Heidegger. It's the perfect book to read after B&T
Yes I'm familiar with that one as well!
word that's rare, very cool. studied heidegger and 20th century continental philosophy in school
this is so beautiful and so relatable
thank you so much <3
I loved reading this. I feel like I’m having an existential moment in life right now too. I’ve been listening to the podcast “Philophosize This!” And I’m starting to feel like that tiny speck of dust, and it feels nice.
I truly enjoy that podcast. there is something comforting when you realize how insignificant we are in the grand scheme of our existence.
You ask: "what if my time is up and I didn’t get to do everything i dreamt of?"
I ask: What is stopping you?
The mountain is there to be climbed, the sea to be sailed, the book to be written and the miles to be traveled.
What if you did everything you ever wanted to do...what would you do then?
things to think about and keep me up at night until 3am
I relate hard to the Sylvia Plath quote; I recently had my birthday and it felt like such a boring, normal day yet also heavy with meaning
happy late birthday to you <3 that quote really hits hard, especially on birthdays. sending you all my love.
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I highly recommend Susan Sontag’s essay on aging, part of the essay collection “On Women”. Perfect read about aging for women. I just finished Camus’ “The Stranger” and have been thinking about similar things. Loved this post.
As always you hit it right. It was easy for me to understand and see it. I felt it too. It's hard, especially in the age of technology and social media. Since my military life and returning to society, I'm the oldest among most. So, my age difference is an issue for some. I always figure if you and the other people connect, understand, and grow, age is nothing but what we let society say it is.
I feel the way to age gracefully is to dismiss age entirely from thought. Anti-aging products constantly remind you that you're old, the wrinkles need to be fought early before they form
In the end, it's all chemical. A good diet and clean beauty regimen cures the need to fight time with consumerism
I recommend reading the play Age Is A Feeling by Haley McGee. It helped me see that there’s so much more time than we realise!